Adventure Awaits...

I find myself in the midst of an emotional storm as I sit down to write this, my first blog post. On the one hand, I am terribly excited to start this upcoming adventure in my life. I am about to leave for Ireland to study abroad at the National University of Ireland, Galway for five months. WHAT? I am living the dream!! However, I must admit that there is a certain level of anxiety that comes along with the adventure. I am worried about missing the incredible friends and family members that I'll be leaving behind as I venture across the pond. I am worried about finding the right bus that will take me from Dublin to Galway. I am worried that I will somehow manage to blowup the flat (yeee I'll be living in a flat - see, there's that underlying excitement) trying to convert fahrenheit to celcius while cooking for myself. And most of all, I am worried about where this journey to "find myself" will lead. 

You see, right now, I am lost. Sure, I can give myself many labels - I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt. I am a friend. I am a college student, and I am an English major. I am a lot of things; I fill a lot of roles. But at the core of my being, I am just a little lost. For so many years I have defined myself in a very specific set of regulations, but as I explore myself and my surroundings, the ties that once kept me so tightly bound are being snipped, and I am billowing out, like a Christmas tree being released from its netting. I am sure that once these upcoming moments in my life take shape, as the ornaments around my being, I will have a clearer picture of myself. I will be a beautiful human, shining for those around me. (At least, I hope I will). But for now, my limbs still need some fluffing; my light is still a little dim. I suppose everyone experiences this sense of identity crisis at some point or another, but for me - the recovering control freak - this time of not knowing, or testing my boundaries is extraordinarily uncomfortable. It is very hard for me to admit that I do not have all of the answers. 

So, theoretical blog audience, here I am, admitting that I do not have all of the answers. I do not know what is to come. I do not know what my experience abroad will bring, but I sure hope that you'll enjoy the ride with me!