Some Thoughts

I'm lying here in bed, debating about taking a nap before my next class, and doing what I do best - facebook prowling - when I stumble upon a shared link called "19 Things You Should Stop Doing in Your 20s." While I'm not yet 20, I figured I have a couple months to start thinking about these suggested things; get them out of my system, if you will. I found something very interesting, while reading this post. I agree with it. While, sure I fall into many of the categories, I also recognized that I do try to be attentive of many of these 19 things. For me, number 6 stood out as a front runner of things I'd like to work on to make me my best possible self.

"6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliche and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things “should” be is a bought-into way of life. It’s sort of like renting your identity. It isn’t you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that “should” be happening."

So often, I find that I am trying to fit myself into a cliche, a certain type of person - the kind of person I think I am, the kind of person I think I should be. At the end of the day, I am just me. I am Alison Marie McCranie. There is only one of me, and I should really be able to embrace myself, as I am, for who I am. This doesn't mean that I can make excuses for poor behavior. "Sorry I'm not sorry, I'm just doin' me." But if I go out to a pub, I don't need to drink as much as everyone else (because, seriously, they drink alcohol here like it's water). I don't need to go out every night, just because my friends do. I'm allowed to have me time. I'm allowed to go off on adventures, and explore new places, new aspects of my surroundings, and in turn, myself. As number 13 said, "It's unlikely that one of the things you'll regret when you're older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes...Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing." I don't need to construct a character for the book I aim to write, I already am a character. I am a character ready to love myself. I am a character seeking out happiness.